


Scars

by WingsofaBird



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28564194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingsofaBird/pseuds/WingsofaBird
Summary: Catra and Adora fight for the future of their love through the pain of the past. One-shot.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 1





	Scars

Catra stirred as Adora slipped into bed next to her, a purr rumbling deep in her chest. Adora smiled softly at her, scratching beneath her ear in the spot she knew was Catra's favorite. Sleepily, Catra twisted her head to lean into the scratch, a smile spreading over her lips as her purring intensified. Her eyes blinked open to tiny slits of yellow and blue.

"Hey, Adora," she murmured indistinctly, the end of her tail swaying back and forth lazily.

"Hey, Catra," Adora replied, caressing her cheek with her thumb. She laid down, burrowing into the blanket. Catra squirmed over until her head was tucked into Adora's chest, and Adora bit back a laugh at the way Catra's purr tickled her. She wrapped an arm around Catra and squeezed her gently, burying her face into her silky hair. Catra slipped her arm between the blanket and Adora's side to encircle her, but she froze when her fingers brushed Adora's back, and her eyes shot open as she felt the ridged scars that stretched from shoulders to waist.

Adora tilted her head to look down at Catra. "What is it?"

Catra pulled her hand back into her chest and turned away from Adora, feeling her throat lock up with tears.

"Catra?" Adora sat up and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Catra flinched as Adora touched her, and she shifted away, drawing her knees into her chest. "I just...need a minute, okay?"

Adora drew her hand back, and her jaw clenched, irritation flaring up in her chest. She bit back the anger that piled up against her lips and forced herself to take a breath before speaking. "Catra…" Another breath as she gathered her thoughts. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

Catra curled up tighter, tears sparking at the corners of her eyes. "Why do you even want to help? I've done nothing but hurt you."

"What? That's not true," Adora shot back. "You gave me my sword back that one time, you always made me laugh when we were kids, you-" Her voice dropped off as it hit her what had brought this on. She rolled her shoulders, the scars stretching and flexing like taut wire over her muscles.

Catra's uneven, shaky breathing filled the silence between them.

"You'd be better off without me," she said, her voice hoarse with tears.

Adora sighed, bringing her knees to her chest and resting her head in her hands. "Catra, that's all in the past. I've moved on. Why can't you?" She spoke softly, but her words had an edge to them.

"I don't understand, how can you forgive me so easily? After everything I"ve done?" Catra's hands curled into fists against her chest, her claws biting at her skin, and she punched the bed.

"I never said it was easy, Catra," Adora replied, lifting her head to rest on her forearms. Catra's ear flicked toward her. "I never hated you, and I understood why you felt like you had to do what you did. But it hurt. You were my best friend, Catra, and watching you do that to yourself was more painful than anything you ever did to me." She paused, staring off into the darkness of their room. "I blamed myself. I felt like I should have seen sooner what the Horde was doing, like I should have been able to convince you to leave. It took me a long time to realize you were responsible for your own actions, not me."

She sighed. "I never stopped wanting you to come home. It was what I wanted more than anything. But once I realized it was a choice you had to make, once I learned to let go of what I wanted for you, that's when I was able to forgive you. It wasn't my job to hold you accountable for your actions. I decided that if you ever did come home, I would welcome you with open arms. I promised myself that I would never hold anything you had done against you. You deserve to have a fresh start, Catra. You deserve to have the space you need to become who you want to be."

"I don't deserve any of this!" Catra snarled, her tail lashing back and forth as she twisted to face Adora. Tears pooled in her eyes as her claws dug into the mattress. "I've betrayed everyone who has ever cared about me. You, Scorpia, Entrapta...even Lonnie and Kyle and Rogelio!" A sob tore from her mouth, shaking her frame, and she dropped her head, avoiding Adora's gaze. "I tried so hard to destroy you," she said, her voice soft and bitter. "I was willing to do whatever it took to make sure you lost. I betrayed my entire planet." Her ears drooped. "I don't deserve you or your forgiveness."

Adora's vision blurred with tears. She blinked them back, but they only welled up again. "Catra…" she began, her voice trembling, and Catra's gaze snapped back up to meet hers. They searched each other's eyes, the silence gathering around them, until Catra turned away with a broken sob.

"See? All I do is hurt people, hurt you. Even now that I'm trying to be better. I still can't do anything right." She hugged her knees into her chest and turned away from Adora. "Shadow Weaver was right," she murmured into her knees.

"No, Catra!" Adora cried out desperately. "Shadow Weaver was wrong, she always was." She took a hold of Catra's arm, and Catra slapped her hand away.

"Don't touch me!" she shrieked, her tail bristling. "Every time you touch me, all I can think about is my claws digging into your skin." Her voice broke, and she clenched her fists. "How it felt to tear through your flesh." Her claws bit into her palms, and she felt warm blood seeping over her palm.

Adora's eyes dropped. White-hot pain flashed across her back, every inch of those scars burning as though freshly opened. She drew her hand back and sat back on her heels, taking a shaky breath in and out. Then she said, her voice more solid than she felt, "I'm going to go get a drink."

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood, squaring her shoulders as she left the room. The door closed behind her with a quiet snick, and she collapsed against the wall, her breath heaving in and out as tears clawed at her throat. Waves of pain crashed through her body, over and over again, relentless and searing. She gasped for air as she fell to the ground, one hand spread wide against the cool wall, fingers convulsing as the pain racked her body.

Catra snarled deep in her throat, furious with herself for pushing Adora away again. She unclenched her trembling fists gingerly and examined the shallow punctures in her palm, now slick with blood. A low growl rumbling in her chest, she tore two strips from the blanket and wound them around her hands. Then she straightened and forced a breath in and a breath out and smoothed her hair. Rising from the bed, she padded to the door to check on Adora.

"Adora?" Catra's voice was soft as she peeked outside. Her eyes scanned the empty hallway, then fell to Adora's crumpled figure, "Adora!" Her voice cracked, and she dropped to her knees, gathering Adora into her arms. Adora curled into her, her eyes shut tight and her breath gasping in and out. "Talk to me, Adora, what's going on?"

Adora buried her face in Catra's chest. "I don't know," she murmured. "It's like...it just...I feel like it's happening all over again, like I can feel it." Her voice dropped off, and her hand clenched around Catra's arm as another wave of pain crashed into her.

Catra drew her closer, her eyes darting around the empty hall for something, anything, that might help. Adora's ragged breathing cut into her, and she could feel her body shuddering with the pain. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she shut them tight, the tears spilling down her cheeks. Burying her face in Adora's hair, she spoke in a broken whisper. "I'm so sorry, Adora."

Tears squeezed out of Adora's eyes, and the agony faded away just a little. She had heard those words from Catra so many times since that first apology from Horde Prime's ship. Each time, she had accepted it without thinking, knowing she had already forgiven Catra for everything. But maybe that wasn't what Catra needed. Adora tilted her head up, her eyes opening for the first time. Catra's breath caught in her chest as she met Adora's steady gaze, tears still skimming down her face.

"I forgive you, Catra," she began, her voice soft and hoarse. Catra shut her eyes and turned her head away, a silent sob shaking her shoulders. "I can't pretend you haven't hurt me any more than I can pretend I haven't hurt you. I left you behind. But more than anything, I want to move forward, and I know we can." A fragment of the future she had seen flashed through her mind, and the corner of her mouth lifted just a little. "I love you so much, Catra, and I want a future with you." Catra's eyes shot open, and she gazed at Adora, wide-eyed. "I know it's hard, and I know you're hurting, but please, try to forgive yourself. For me." Adora reached up and cupped Catra's cheek with her hand, gently pressing her lips to hers.

Catra stared at her. "You want a future with me?"

Adora smiled softly, her heart cracking just as it was made whole. "You're such an idiot sometimes."

Fresh tears welled up in Catra's eyes, and she smiled through them. "Yeah, I know," she said wetly, a chuckle escaping her. She sniffed and blinked the tears away, then planted a kiss on the top of Adora's hair pouf. "I love you, too." Pressing her forehead to Adora's, she murmured, "And I'll try."

"Good."


End file.
